Year End Review 2020

Another year done and dusted. Lets see how 2020 fares

SNES: 8 (↑ 8)
PC: 8
Nintendo Switch: 25 (↑ 7)
Genesis: 7 (↑ 5)
PS4: 5
PSP: 1
PS2: 3
PS1: 1

Shooter: 2 (↔)
Action: 26 (↑ 15)
Platformer: 9 (↑ 6)
Pinball: 3
Racing: 6 (↑ 3)
Adventure: 2 (↔)
Puzzle: 3 (↓ 1)
FPS: 2 (↔)
RPG: 1 (↔)
Other: 2 (↓ 1)
Strategy: 1
Fighting: 1 (↓ 1)

Game Played: 57 (467) (↑ 24)
Finished Game: 44 (384) (↑ 16)

Game of the Year

10. The Touryst

9. Luigi’s Mansion 3
8. Assassins Creed Origins
7. Tetris Effect
6. WRC8
5. Outer Wilds
4. The Last of Us Part 2

3. Into the Breach

This game is one of the best strategy game I played in a while. The game is simple enough and yet complex it its own way. I played this game for one month. You know that a game is fun when you enjoy yourself even though you are losing.

2. Final Fantasy VII Remake

To be honest I've didn't finish the original Final Fantasy 7 on the PlayStation. I did remember my brother playing it. This game however is easy to pick up and play. I think what works for me is the combat. I never get bored of it and the story is also engaging. There will be a next game in the near future and I also can't wait for it.

Resident Evil 2

My first game of the year of 2019 was also the best game I played. Really playing a game with unlimited ammo is fun as heck. Plus the fast action gameplay made this game a rare gem. I played Resident Evil to for the PS1 multiple times and I can say the remake is 10 times better.

Honourable mentions
Contra Alien wars
Katana Zero
GRIS
Control
Alan Wake
Lonely Mountains Downhill
Captain Toad Treasure Tracker

Series

Every year I watch a lot of shows and this year is no different. The problem is I don't quite remember what I watched starting early of the year. So next year hoping it would be different.

Memorable moments and shows

• I watched all 7 season of Star Trek TNG, Deep Space 9 and ongoing is voyager. Watching a show for the first time is really amazing
• Rick and Morty is back. Snake Jazz is awesome
• Crisis of Infinite Earths and the end of Arrow

Total series that I watch is 1990 (↑ 658)

Movies

Movie of the year

3. The Hunt
2. Knives Out
1. 1917

Unrelated = 36 (↓ 2) :(
Even more Unrelated = 158 (↑ 11) :(

NEW STUFF FOR 2020

1. 10Tb Hdd (For all the shows i've been downloading)
2. GPD Win Max (Best handheld ever for now)
3. Fixture S1 (A cradle to hold my Nintendo switch which makes gaming so much easier)

GAMES SPEND FOR 2019

$89.58 $340.60 (↓ 215.02)

SPENDINGS FOR 2020

Fuel = $1143 (↓ 862) Toll = $225(↓ 143)
Groceries = $ 6376 (↑ 1282)
Eating out = $ 3197 (↑ 462)

(UN)MEMORABLE MOMENTS FOR 2020

Well 2020 has been a very sad year. With the current pandemic that is still ongoing and does look like it is stopping anytime soon. The state of the world all together. Yeah it sucks. But here are the top 3 that sucks for me

• Losing friends. I got a couple of friends that I thought that we are going the distance and yet they ghost me in the end. It's sad but I tried my best. It's okay, It's better to try than to not try at all. Im happy I got the chance to get to know them and I wish them all the best in their future endavours
• Me getting super sick for one day. That was horrible. I didn't like it one bit. Yeah I turns out spewing for 2 hours straight is not a pretty picture. It's a good thing that my body will go into protective mode when that happens. I will just curl up in bed and just go to sleep as long as I can.
• My family getting sick. With my wife getting her back aches and depressive attack, My mom and my brother getting hospitalise and my mom in law with her operation. This year has been a lot for my extended family.

MEMORABLE MOMENTS FOR 2020

• I got mention in a Bloomberg article by name. Which was really the highlight of the year. I can't find the article but I did save it somewhere. Maybe once I get it back I'll post it on here. Assuming they don't delete it already.
• My birthday. I think I remembered that the most since I have the whole day to myself with my best friend. I think getting to spend time with someone without anyone hounding you to go home is a great feeling. To bad the day eventually had to end. Hopefully I can carry that again next year
• Finally... I met my best friend. It was awesome.   

2020 New Years Resolution

1. Get abs for this year. Nothing fancy but I want to get rid of my belly ( Ok First of All. Getting Abs is not easy at all. So yeah I didn't get this. Which I don't mind really.I am not in the same state of mind to get it right now)

2. Go to Scotland and visit my friend (This ship has sailed. Due to the pandemic and the current state of our friendship. I don't think I will be visiting her at all She will remain just a friend on the internet)

3. Finish phase 1 of my all gaming list (Nope. To make matters even more sucky. I've moved to phase 2. Just couldn't be bothered)

4. 4 Holidays in year (either alone, or with the family) (Yup. We did it. We actually went to like 6 mini weekend getaways this whole year so year. So that was fun)

5. Save another 15000 by December (I manage to save double that amount. So cheers to that)

So 2/5... Better luck next year I guess

2021 New Year's Resolutions

1. Lose a couple more inches of my belly.

2. Blog at least one post a day

3. Meet one of my online friends in real life

4. Save another 15000 by December

5. Keep the same prayer for the whole year

Finally. I met my best friend and we are going in and out of this awesome friendship. I am going to say that is the most impactful moment of this year. She gave so much back to me and I couldn't repay her. I wish one day I get to see her in real life. But for now I will be happy to get to talk to her everyday. This is the friendship that I am going to cherish until the day I die so yeah. This is actually the start of something really beautiful.

And with that. 2020 is done and dusted. It was an awesome year with it shares of ups and downs and I can't wait for the adventure which is 2021. Ameen

Things that happen in December

So this is the final blog post of this year (well second final) and let's see if anything happen during the time. Well in a nutshell, nothing really happened. The kids finish their semester one examinations and now they are on their school break. I went to do the normal routine chore stuff and saw some friends at the grocery store. The girls have good days and bad days. Sometimes crying ensues.  My mom in law maid is going home this January so we are trying to ask her to cook all our favourite dishes for one last time. I had the turducken burger which was an event of its own. It is more chicken then duck 

In the friend front. I decided to stop finding new friends. I have found the ultimate one and I think anyone else just fails in comparison. But other than that I said goodbye to a couple of friends that I thought it would last forever. I think eventually after a while we just drifted and really have nothing much to talk about. I am okay with that. Eventually things ends even as much as I tried. The rest of my friends are in a holding pattern. I think it probably due to the long holiday so everyone is busy with that. So yeah I am good.. emotionally that's another issue but that what the journals are for 

I talked to my mom. She misses us and we just a good 30 mins of video call. The thing is that she is not coming back anytime soon due to covid cases in the state are not getting any better. We have passed the 20k active cases and in total we have 100k confirmed cases. I did however after the kids exam had a day out with the girls. We ate sushi and went on a shopping spree. Overall it was a fun day. To end the month my wife best friend decided to do a couple family outing. So it was 4 adults with 6 girls age between 13 - 7. I think my girls made so much noise than the 4 girls. And there you have it. 2020 is done and dusted 

Going forward in 2021 things will be different. I am going to do a weekly post about what is going on and End of the month I am going to compile the things that made an impact (or if there is any) of that month. I think It's better since last time I use my phone on my camera to show what I did and there are some events that don't have a camera involved. So yeah. Starting next year is going to be a bit different

Going back to grandpa house

So the road trips always ends at my mom childhood home. Its a house that is 8km in and the deeper you go the more you realise that you are in a horror movie and there is no way out. The journey is fill with palm trees, dense forest and just one road. So you can imagine if there is a car on the opposite side. You are technically screwed  Grandpa house is the last house on the road. It a house made of wood and brick and situated on top a hill. The house is beside my aunt house (mom's oldest sister). His house doesn't have a working toilet. The toilet is situated outside of the house and it's basically a deep well I guess (please don't ask me where does number 2 goes). So we usually come home during Eid and stay there for a week. Mind you this is the time before the age of the internet and streaming services. There is basically nothing much to do but just play with the surroundings or you cousins. So eventually after grandpa disappeared for a while, my mom and her siblings rarely go back to their house. Probably it brings back to many bad memories I guess

But there was one year they decided to one last hurrah and say let's celebrate our last Eid in this house. This is after we haven't visited the house after 6 years. So my family and my aunts family came to the house to set it up a couple days before Eid. The door was locked but we ask the next door for the key. Opening the creaking door it was so dark... We switch on the lights and saw there were cobwebs everywhere. Really a horror story vibe in my book. Grandpa house was two floors... so we headed upstairs... unlock the door. It was dark... we use a flashlight (smartphones weren’t invented yet during this time) and saw a mountain... and above the mountain was something hanging... 😱. It was 6 bats and the mountain was their guano (that is what we called bat poop). So you know the scene when the bats swarm batman... so similar like that but rather than swarming me... they went on a frenzy and started screeching everywhere... eventually we opened the windows and let them out...

So the gift they left us... it took us 5 hours to clean the whole house. By the time we are done the was close to sunset. So that’s why folks don’t leave a house unattended. You never know if you get guest around 

Spectre

Finally the last Bond movie

What is it about?
The movie that ties all the other previous movies together 

The Good
The opening scene was awesome
The car chase scene was great. They can make it interesting with less gadget
The story is decent enough 
The bad guys are quite memorable 

The Bad
There are some parts of the story is a snooze fest
The Bond girl. I find kinda annoying 

The Ugly
Really Bond movies should come with a date timer. I don't know how long does this events take place and it seems they can be from one and of the globe to the next without anything going on 

After Credits: No 

Gadgets:
Bomb watch
Aston Martin DB9

Verdict: It's an okay movie. It like the quality seems to go in time I guess

Chapter 21: Epilogue

A few years later 

Florence is enjoying her success as a renowned artist. She manage to sell a lot of her paintings that it finance her new home and travels. Florence took her mom everywhere around the world. She manage to build a lot of new experiences throughout her journey. While she looked back at her accomplishments, something seems amiss. She tried the whole dating scene. She met a lot of interesting individuals but they are all missing something. Something that she can't put her mind on. Most of them only lasted a couple of dates before she calls it quits. She sighs to herself that she will never find "the one" but it's okay since she is sort of happy. One day while walking down the street, she saw a poster that was glued to a the wall. It was the city  philharmonic orchestra and a picture caught her eye. It was Krish and the bottom left corner. In her mind she thought that he finally made it. The smiles and just walked away. A couple steps back she turned and thought. Can I see him again? I miss him. She look at the poster to find out where they were practicing. She took a cab and rush straight down and got to the concert hall. She tried entering but it was block by security since it is a closed session. Florence begin the resourceful person she is, tried finding the service entrance to sneak in. She manage to get inside the auditorium and heard the most beautiful solo. It was Krish who is currently playing the most enchanting melody. Florence just sat there and listen. It was dark so she knew that he couldn't see her. After a couple of hours, the practice was over and everyone is packing up to go home. Florence ran down the stage and just stand there. Krish notice a figure in front of the stage and smiled. He walked down and both of them starred eye to eye. Without a thought, both of them hugged each other. The hugged lasted what seems for hours while in fact it was only a minute. Both of them smiled and then started to sit down and catch up. The must have been the only ones there because they realised that it was already around 8pm. The left and continued their talked at a pizza place where they just picked up where the left off. Both of them found out that they didn't find anyone special after they both left. Everyone just seems not whole in some way. While Krish was holding Florence hand, he said "I never stopped loving you". Florence blushed and said "me too". What now? she said. Both of them agreed to make this work and now do it right 

A few months later

Both of them are moving to a new house and while Florence was carrying the boxes her vision was skewed. She dropped the boxes down and turn around only to find Krish on one knee holding a ring saying the four magic words. Florence cried and said "yes". Both of them kiss and hugged it out. It shows that they were meant for each other all along and it was just time that what separates them. They were not too early or too late. They were just at right time. 

The End 

Skyfall

A goodbye movie to a fan favourite 

What is it about?
A tale of revenge I guess where bad guy holds MI6 and its superiors responsible 

The Good

Action is still there but one can't help it that Daniel Craig really looks like he doesn't want to do this anymore 

New characters have fun and interesting interaction

The return of the DB5 

The Bad

The bad guy is really not a good character

All this to hunt down someone

The ending is sad which I don't like

Seriously is Bond the only person for the job. I mean there are other people as well right. He looks old 

The Ugly 

Hacking scene... Too much graphics not enough code, 

Why did he stop by the gun store before heading home. I mean it like a couple hours drive. I'm sure can stock up his house to make it "home-alone" ish

Gadgets

DB5

Fingerprint gun

Radio

After Credits: No

Verdict: It's an interesting movie. But the quality of this bond has gotten less and less in my opinion 

Happy 2 months anniversary

So the Highlight is that the friendship is now on hiatus. Text has gone dark and really I don’t blame them. I was blessed to know them. It was revealed that we both share a common bond. I think the bond will never be broken and hopefully everything that remain hidden will one day be not. I am not sure if this message will reach them but I just want to say. This friendship in my mind is going to last forever. I hope one day we can text back. Sometime you need to step back in order to move forward. I'll always will be here. All our interactions are copied in my mind. Hopefully we can meet again someday somewhere, somehow. Thank you for everything and you are always in my thoughts. All I have to say is scroll below

(Clue: 3, 6. 1. 4. 3, 14. 7. 1. 7. 3, 4. 4. 5. 6.)

Hey there best friend 

Well if you get this letter it means you can decipher code. It is easy enough. I just want to say it's been 2 days since we last talk but it feels like forever. I know we are trying to stay away until the time comes that one day we will be reunited again. But I'll be lying that I say I don't miss you. If you won't get this letter, it just goes to show that the feelings I have for you won't never die. Thank you for coming in my life. You made the highlight of this year and I really can't ever repay you. Thanks for all the care and love you bring and hopefully one day we will meet again. I will always have hope that someday I will see you and when that time comes... I love you

Happy 2 months friendniversary

Road trips with mom

I think living if a state that is far from your hometown. You cherish every time you get to go back to see your relatives. That means it’s road tripping time. Okay this is before the age of iPhones, google maps, waze and whatnots. My mom actually has actual maps to guide us from point A to point B. There is also her cassette tape collection. What’s a cassette tape you ask? It’s like a CD but it’s in a form of a plastic tape that house a strip of film that contains sounds... what?? What’s a CD you ask? 🤦‍♀️. Oh boy... google it. Basically she had a lot of cool songs from the 60s to 80s and I develop a keen eye for oldies song. We usually will stop somewhere in the middle to have lunch a halfway a small restaurant in a middle of a small island. Okay there is a fear when I was a kid. There is this small stretch of road (mind you we don’t have highways back then... now it takes 6-7 hours to go to home but will take close to 10 hours back then) okay where were we..., oh the small stretch of road around 10km. I will get so terrified of the road that I will just curl down at the back seat crying. The reason is that the road is like a snake zig zagging and you can see the chasm from the left side of the window... hey I survive right (In hindsight when I got bigger I love that road... makes me feel like I am driving in a rally track) 

Oh and here another tidbit. I can’t call shotgun because of my brother. He usually gets to be co-pilot because mom needs him to navigate and read maps... and pass sandwiches and drinks of some sort. Which means I get back row all to myself. And being a short boy. I get to sleep at the back (kids don’t do that now okay. It’s dangerous!) without curling my legs. Oh when I’m in my teenage years I splurge on a MP3 player. What’s an MP3 player... think Spotify without internet. Basically a smartphone without a screen and any phone functions and can just play music. Anyway after I while I download mostly punk rock songs to enjoy in the journey. A good 128mb... yes yes megabytes... not gigabytes like most things nowadays can get me close to 4 hours worth of songs. (I want to do a post about songs but I have no idea how to start it) 

Its 4 am

I can’t sleep and I am running on fumes here. Probably reserve power or some sort. I manage to be closer to God so that is good. Probably there is a reason for me not sleeping. I need to write just to get my mind clear. You know I keep telling myself that it will all work out and I have to trust Him that He has a plan for all of us. But one can’t help be a bit impatient you know. Which is human I guess. After all I am one of them.. but yeah... He knows I would want nothing more than to have the one I want. But He also knows that this is not my time. Can I just say getting clarity is super enlightening I guess and yet frustrating at the same time because you know the answer but you refuse to accept it 😔. I feel lost sometimes. I feel alone. I wish I had someone to talk to about this. But talking without context will always make me feel bad I guess. It’s okay. Writing does help a lot. It helps me put thought into words... and after reading it. It helps me understand clearly. I’ll be fine. What drives me everyday I wake up is hope. Hope that one day I will get what I want. If I don’t. It’s okay. I’ll be really sad but I know I’ll be okay. If I pray so hard can I will it into existence. Probably not. But I do love that in my mind I hope that he is listening to my prayers. One day...  Hope... Love... Despair... seriously I need someone to kick me in the nuts... okay back to praying. Good writing... Have to bring the kids out for swimming in 5 hours. Oh what fun... 

The Legend of Zelda Link's Awakening

Finally finish this game but with a guide of course

Game no: 384
Genre: Action
Platform: Nintendo Switch 
Release Date: 2019

What is it about?
Link is stranded in mysterious island and needs to figure out how to get out from it

What I liked?
Fast gameplay
Each weapon is has a specific use and they are actually useful 
Challenging bosses 
Lots of cameo from other Nintendo characters
Cutting grass. That never gets old 
The Dungeons are fun to explore

What I didn't liked?
This game is super challenging. I can't understand how do you play this game without a guide. I usually end up going in circles trying to figure out what to do and where to go. 

Status: Finish the game until the end credits around 10 hours 

Fun Factor: A must play just to experience one of the best Zelda games ever made. Just use a guide. It will make it much more fun.    

Quantum of Solace

No idea what the title even means

What is it about?

Bad guy buys all the land to control oil... or is it water? I couldn't tell 

The Good

Action is top notch 

The Bond girl is actually quite capable 

The theme song is kicking awesome. Better than the last one 

The movie picks up where the first movie left off

The Bad

I really haven't a clue what is it about. I mean I find it quite boring 

No gadgets but I think this new movie will be gadget less

The Ugly

Nothing much. It is an enjoyable movie 

After Credits: No

Verdict: Serviceable movie. Nothing special 

Grandpa comes to live with us (Part 2)

So there was the time where my grandfather came to live with us since he was alone and no one wanted to take care of him. I think the reason is that he is a really a fussy person. He has a dog guarding his house because he is scared that people will steal his money (what money? I have no idea). Since I was a teenager I really didn't pay much attention to him. But I can see that he is alone. So I try my best to spend time with him. The only problem is that I really don't understand what is he saying most of the time. He speaks a very thick dielac of our national language and I thought living in this state was difficult enough. I don't remember much but I do remember that my mom was very patient with him because he always complains that he wants to go home. Eventually after 6 months he blew a top and really wanted to go home for real. So my mom called one of my cousins to pick him up. And honestly... I've never seen my mom cried that much but she did. Probably it's because she couldn't take care of him

Which brings me to the question if I ever live that long I hope that my kids won't take care of me. So that I won't be a burden to them and their family. I would visit them always and play with their grandkids if they have any. But I won't ask them to take care of me if possible. 

Sports day

Ok this is a post where you dad tells the story on how he is the star athlete and he is always being picked first in all sports activities... too bad this is not fiction 😅. In reality I was kind of a wimp. I am short so I can’t run that fast. I am not strong. I’m just like skin and bones. I’m like 35kg. Really scrawny. So every year they have sports dah and I am on the blue team. They will do tryouts and in my mind I always say why bother since I never get picked. So sports day I usually be regulate to the assembly and decorating the tent. I think they force people to come since attendance is compulsory. I did get to hang out with my friends from the other houses and we get free food. But I always remember getting home I’ll be so out of it. I will sleep from 9 until tomorrow. So yeah... sports day is okay... they at least have that Milo truck which is awesome 

Uno 2nd game

I think the kids and I are going to start a new tradition where we play uno the best of three rounds. 

So the first game which has last week I won. After winning I’ll always sing “We are the champions” while holding the cat as a Oscar... 

2nd game 

1st round - H1 

2nd round - H2

3rd round - me 

4th round - H1

5th round - H2

6th round - me 

So here we are the final round. Usually the kids say I have the better deck so they will pick my deck and I get the leftovers. So for the last round it was counter clockwise (H2, me, H1). I need to reverse the rotation since H1 will put draw +2 or +4. So since I have 2 reverse cards. I decide to put 1 first. H1. Counter with a reverse and I counter it back with another reverse. With 2 reds, 1 wild , 2 yellow. I continue to put both reds down. And then I use the wild card to change it to a yellow. H2 counter with a blue and since I have no blue I draw the deck with low and behold. Another wild card. “Yellow” I said... and both of them don’t have yellow. First round both draw from the deck... still no yellow... no I left with one more yellow.. both of them knew it was inevitable. H1 started to scream to H2 to ask to change to card but it was futile... I kiss H2 and started laughing... and then the theme song comes out again... “You know why I win girls?” I said. Because of Unagi... 

So it’s 

H1 - 0

H2 - 0

Me - 2

High School Year 2

So since I don't remember anything for the first year. I think the second year is going to be a blur as well. I do remember that I mom usually gave me 3 bucks for my pocket money which in 1998 can get you a plate of rice, drink and something sweet. But I have another plan for the pocket money. I want to buy a playstation but getting 15 bucks a week that means it will take at least 18 months to 24 months to get it. But once I set my mind to it I am determined to get it. It just takes time. But I tell you that for the 18 months I was really hungry. Sometimes if I am lucky some friend will give me part of his food. If not I'll just survive until lunch time. 

Among the highlights of school is that I was promoted to head class. It is because that I think nobody else wanted to do it so I volunteered. I did have a hot english teacher which I liked which was then replaced with my discipline teacher which I don't quite like because he likes to cane us when we get this wrong 

I liked that once a year there is a truck that serve cold milo and I would wait until the end to get a big glass (I bring my own glass of course). I think there is one more memory but I think I can tell that tomorrow. 

Second year of school was the same thing as the first year. I think I begin to get some friends and for me that is enough    

Okay I do have some friends

My best friend told me that I am never promised tomorrow so I think I should start writing a lot of memories that I can remember before I can't. Does that mean I am going to write everyday. Yes. But it means that I try to finish it up as much as I can. Since I am currently at year 13 and I still have a lot of more years to remember.

So I do have some friends at school. I am over time people do find me a bit tolerable. So I have a friend who apparently is shorter than me (I was like 4ft 6 inches) and we bonded because we were short. I call him Piji. Piji lives close by my house so we do spend some afternoons just cycling around the neighbour and just talking about stuff. I don't remember what we talked about but it was a nice memory. What happened to him (you wouldn't believe if I told you... but hopefully I get too... But we have to go 10 years in the future... So I will probably save this story for a later date

I have another friend named Jiri. Jiri and I share the love of video games. So I think we bonded over that. He likes to come to the house and play wit my computer. Which my mom doesn't like. My mom says he is a bad influence which I kind of agree but I like her company nonetheless. What happen to him? I have no idea. After 15 we lost contact with each other and I don't think I will ever see him again

The rest are just acquaintances. A simple Hi and bye and laugh and cry I guess. Nothing to special. But those two I remember what makes my frist 3 years of high school fun.  

Chapter 20: Moving on

Chapter 20: Moving on

Today was her last day at the office. After saying goodbye to friends she went and pack her things at her desk. All the stuff went in a box. While cleaning up underneath the keyboard was a picture of her and Krish together. Underneath the picture was a note saying "great day with Krish!". Florence look at the picture and smiled. She loved that picture and put it in the box. A couple of weeks later, Florence was nicely dressed. Her mom was there as well. As both of them pose for the photographer, they were at her first ever art gallery. This was a night where she was the guest of honour and people all around the city came down to see the artist herself. Florence worked the room and try to spend as much with each guest. She explained to them what does each painting means. All of her guest were thrilled at meeting her. She managed to sold all her painting that night. In conclusion... she sees that the love that she once had was just apart of a chapter in her life. With coffee in hand and looking out in the horizon. She wonders what is next for her in this ever changing tapestry that is call Florence.

The End?

There is one more chapter but I’ll wait till the end of the year to post it... just for me to reflect on the current situation that I am having 

It’s the final Goodbye?

You know I don’t believe in goodbyes. Never did... I don’t believe that we can’t see each other in the near future or the hereafter. So yeah. I finally said catch you later to one of my best friends. It hurts so much right now and I don’t know this pain will ever go away. Can I just say 2020 has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me. I feel so lost and sad right now. You know what’s the sad part of this. I have no one to talk to except just writing in this sorry ass excuse for a journal. It’s okay... it’s okay... I’m going to be okay. It may take another 10 years but I think I’m done making new friends. I’m calling it quits. Because I think after finding the ultimate one everyone else will just seem second best

Sigh 😔 

Wow. They are beautiful

Well I got to saw a beautiful soul today. And I got to say... they look perfect. We have been having a heated discussion of letting go. Letting go is the hardest thing that I am going to do and I seriously can’t do it. It’s not fair... it just not fair. Why was I given this gift only to be taken away 😭... this is the same feeling I had when I lost someone special a long time ago. I am still reeling on that and I think I am still not recovering... sigh... 

I don’t know what I am going to do... please God give me guidance 

Chapter 19: Wake Up

One day Florence woke up from bed. She went to her desk and found her water colour set. She looked at it and sitting down with sketch paper on the table, she started to draw a line. Over the days Florence will spend every free time she has drawing. She started with something small and then move on to something bigger. Everytime she drawed she smile and there was a certain joy in her life. The months flew by. She cut her hair. By that time there were a lot of painting hung on the wall. Florence started to live life once again. She started to make new memories. She visited her mom and ask her to teach some of her recipes. She entered a drawing competition and won... second place. She joined a sketch club and made a couple of new friends. She adopt a cat which she named Loaf since she is brown like a loaf of bread. Florence started to develop a website for her art. Within days her art her online shop was completely sold off. Her sales went through the roof which made her brave enough to quit her job and start this as a new career. The money that she earned by drawing, she uses that to buy more supplies and started to take custom orders from clients. She converted her apartment into a small art studio. She is happy

Chapter 18: Let go

Days gone by and then months. Slowly he is drifting away from her life. Everything is getting better eventually. Krish is just a mere shadow in Florence mind now. Florence has truly began to finally heal.

Chapter 17: Fragments

Act IV

Florence try to get Krish of her mind. Everyday a small piece of him is slowly forgotten or tried to be forgot.It's kinda hard since the city remind her of him. Everywhere she went is a memory of their time together. He was no longer with her. At home, at the beach, on the train, at her favourite sushi place. He was gone but the area which affected her the most was in bed. She look to the left only to find an empty space. One day Florence decided to do the unthinkable and called her mom. She started crying and told her mom everything... 

Chapter 16: Moving Out

It was finally time for Krish to move out. It was a rainy day while he packed all his stuff in boxes. It seems his whole life is in the apartment. Everything of his goes in the box. Florence wasn't at home since it was too painful to watch. Krish takes a good look at the apartment and the memories and left the keys behind him. When the time Florence got back the apartment was empty. She spends the day crying on the couch while the rain was pouring outside. The next day she went and got rid of everything that reminded her of him. The memory board in the office was one of the biggest thing she threw out.

Casino Royale

Finally the best Bond movie of all time 

What is it about?

Bad guy needs to fund terrorism so he organised a high stakes poker game (really this is the plot and it's awesome) 

The Good

Opening scene was just a slow and awesome burn 

The Action scenes... The parkour scene was wow. 

This bond really looks like he is tired of running around 

The best part of the movie is the card game really. I don't know how but they made playing cards for close to 45 minutes the best part of the movie 

The Bond girl (Eva green) is awesome 

The Bad

No gadgets and I think because the movie was from 2006. There were no andriod phones. They use Sony Ericsons and that uses a proprietary software

The wreck a good car (fun fact that car got the world record for most flips done in car motion picture) 

The Ugly

Nothing much. Movie is flawless for a Bond movie 

After Credits: No 

Verdict: The best Bond movie in my book. Can't wait to see what happens next 

Die Another Day

One of the best songs in all of the movie 

What is it about?
Bad guy has a mirror that harness the power of the sun

The Good
The opening song again... Really gets your legs moving 
This has to be the campiest Bond ever and yet I find it enjoyable 
Lots and lots of gadgets. I think this is the last Bond to have a car vs car moment 

The Bad
Ok for a guy being tortured for a year he seems to be out and about in less than a day 
Too many puns. I mean I get a good puns. But this movie is just pun central 

The CGI is so funny and yet I enjoyed it 

The Bad guy is un memorable 

The Ugly

The song.... Is everywhere. Really they even got a cameo from Madonna. What did she do to get the gig. Write an awesome song that's why.

Too bad Pierce Brosnan last movie wasn't his best. But he will still be one of my favorite Bond

Gadgets
Aston Martin V8 with all the fixing and optical camouflage 

Sonic vibration ring

Watch bomb 

After Credits: No

Verdict: A good day to past the time 

Intertwined

[Updated] 

Been doing a lot of reading lately and I came across this weird sentence. Intertwined means two things that are connected together. Connected by what? Who knows? Some weird form of fate? Destiny? Or just sheer will I guess. But no matter what I think I’ve experienced some intertwining in my life. No matter how much I pull it apart it will always pull back being more tangled that ever. Does it suck? Not in a million years. Sharing something with someone weather is a story, a memory or just being there is something special. That’s the problem I guess... I think I am impatient and I wants something to happen soon enough. I know it can’t nor that it would be right. I do know that everything is already written down somewhere and if it happens it happens. Is it just me or the end of 2020 I’ve like changed into something else. Or I’ve become someone else. Oh well...  writing about it does keep in calm in some sort. 

It’s going to take a while to untangle the thread. I’ll always be there for that person even after the thread is gone. In a prefect world we will be the bests of friends who have undying feelings for each other. But again... it’s so not fair for the both of us 😞. I can say I don’t miss them but I’ll be lying.

Chapter 15: Drifting

They both remember what it used to be. They realised that they are not the same people who fall in love a year ago. They are slowly drifting apart. They can't find any common ground to stand on. They tried to work it out but it seems they everytime to come together. They will be torn apart even worse. They finally had to had the talk. the talk on both of their minds. It is time to end this for both of their sake. After a good long discussion they gave each other one final hug goodbye...

Well I got sucker punched

Been having a crappy week and it gets crappier by the day. But I can’t really complain that much. Always look at the silver linings I say. I am here to talk about the silent killer. Depression and how it effects everyone. In my opinion everyone is depressed in some sort of way. But the way you handle it shows how you are coping makes is bearable. Some people mediate, others exercise and I just write. I feel that writing helps me cope to the midnight waking of kicking and screaming. I wish I could help. I wish I can say it will be better. But I can’t 😞. It’s the inner demon is that is always going to gnaw at your psyche and leave you broken eventually. Sigh... It’s okay... island of one remember... I’ll survive. Take it an hour at a time and just don’t forget to breathe. 

2020 is almost coming to an end... I’ve been reading my happenings of the year. Can’t wait for the year end review. In other news my favourite phone app finally got Picture in Picture mode so that means I can check my messages while the show is running. Technology is awesome. Right start my day I guess 

Finally... to the person who is always here. I just want to say... I’m sorry and thank you for being patience with me I know it’s hard for you as it’s for me. But really, I’ll spend everyday fighting to win you over because really... you’re just out of this world... yeah that’s enough ramblings for the day... smile always

Chapter 14: Fight

As time past both of them becomes irate with each other easily. The smallest thing could start a big fight between them. It usually last for hours and ended by both of them being quiet at each other for days. They seem to be more annoyed with each other. One day while doing the dishes, both of them started to argue about each other. This was it. The biggest fight of their lives. It started as a discussion and ended with shouting match with neither side wanted to back down. Both of them seem to not care about each other and are just angry with one another. There are stuff said that they couldn't take back. In the end both of them retreated to a corner of the apartment feeling crappy about what they said and each other. There is no going back. Tonight the couldn't sleep. They face away from each other thinking about the fight and a lot of other things. Both of them are a puzzle piece that don't fit with each other anymore.

Is it me? Am I the problem?

Well yesterday didn’t end on a good day. Got an altercation with the wife about something trivial and I really hate yelling. I think over the years being bullied has made be subconsciously just say yes to anything to avoid them to hate me. I am distraught by this but yesterday shows that no matter how many people you have around you. You are still an island of one. I would also like to apologise to them who was just there during this. Some friend I am huh? Okay.. let’s start the day I guess.... 

Chapter 13: Erosion

Looking back at the start of the relationship. They couldn't get enough of each other. They wanted to spend every waking moment together. As time past they grew apart from each other. They rarely are talking to one another. Playing the cello started as something passionate for Krish has now become a chore. He rarely smiles anymore. As for Florence, she stop painting. The water colour pallette sit on her table piled up will all types of papers. She really didn't have the passion to draw anymore. 

Chapter 12 : Routine

 Act V

One Year Later

The alarm rang. Both of them were sleeping apart from each other. In silence they both got ready for work. Krish walked to his school while Florence went to work. Work seems to be piling on and Florence seems annoyed doing it. It was all just numbers to her. Krish on the other hand is hard at work practicing his art. He needs to get it prefect. Florence got a call from her mom. She answers it but it's annoyed at her mom constant barrage of questions. She couldn't wait to get it over with. Both of them got back and usually spend the day by ordering takeaway and eating in front of the tv. They rarely cook now. It has all become a daily routine. The day ended by them sleeping next to each other. 

Inner monologue

I rarely write about my innermost thoughts but while listening to Matt the Electrician one can't help but wonder if someone out there miss me a lot 

Me: Why don't you just drop a text and say hi?

I so do want to but I am trying to respect the process. They will come back when the time is right and I will be there always 

Me: Is there anything you wanted to say to that person?

I don't know you know. That's a question that I can’t answer. It's like if you only 5 minutes with someone.There will never be enough time... I will just say that... that they are awesome and even I don't get to talk to them I am smiling from the inside

Me: I keep on wondering why is taking so long?

That's the thing is not long. It will be at the right time. Nothing is ever too early or too late. It's always at the right moment and at the right time. It sucks because you've got a sample and it was beautiful 

Me: So what do you do to pass the time?

Nothing much. Between just being busy with life I guess.. just try to keep my mind preoccupied.

Me: Do you think Blink 182 Rocks?

Always. Listening to some right now

Me: Learn to love yourself?

Always. The first person that you need love is always yourself. By loving yourself you can love others better. 

Me: Last question... Do you put lime and pepper in your cooking

God no... I am not a monster... 😝. Depends on what cooking I guess. And that all the time we have. Special thanks to Matt Damon who is backstage and we will see you all next week

12 hours later

Well I’m just going to put this out there. This is hard 😅. I know I am trying but they never said it’s going to be easy. Hopefully they are doing great and having less issues than me. Just remember that there is a gold (I think I mean goal) at the end of the tunnel and one day I’ll reach it... 😊.

I can do this... I can do this.... no I can’t 😭😭. Snap out of it 

Chapter 11: Happy Together

Both of them slept by hugging each other. Once the alarm beeps they both got ready for their day. The both of them have their morning coffee and toast while talking to each other. Florence makes her daily commute to work. But rather than looking at other pictures of friends. She spends the time smiling at the her phone answering Krish text. It's funny since they will see each other later in the evening. But they already miss each others company. At work Florence is very efficient in doing her job. She gets everything done as fast as she can. She can't wait to get home. At home they spend their time cooking dinner while talking about their day. Some days Krish will play the cello while Florence draws. Florence draw a picture of Krish but only this time is a colour picture rather than a sketch. They slept hugging each other"

I’ll try to be okay

So... how am I feeling? I’m getting there. I can say I miss that person everyday that they are not around me. But I think I will be okay. The friendship is just beginning and I don’t believe in goodbyes. I’ll see them again and when I do I hope both of us will be in a better place and we will welcome each other with open arms. The thing is it’s hard when everything reminds me of them. But they need to find their way back to me and I’ll keep the lights open if there ever want to come on knocking...well it safe to say that they will always have a permanent spot in my heart.... and I will be updating them with my life from time to time. So yeah... it’s so the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

P.S I’ve rarely made bucket lists but this one is at the top of the list