Being poison sucks

So I think I am going to start blogging again. It's not fair for my thoughts to be stuck in my head without any outlet to let go. The thing that bugs me is who has been reading my blogs. There are always around 3 to 4 who view the page. To them I say thank you so much. I don't know if you guys are real.. but it means a lot to me that someone is paying attention to me

So what is this about me being poison. A couple of months back I've been poison by a high inducing chemical reaction called dopamine. What does dopamine do it shots you with high level of euphoric levels of pleasure in the brain that makes you high. Its kinda like the feeling of getting high on drugs or alcohol. The problem with this dopamine inducing side effect is that you have the bends (the feeling that junkies have when they don't get their fix) when you are not in that state. It makes you feel worthless, insecure and just down right crappy. So for a couple of months I've been feeling the side effects of dopamine in my system. I get high and then I get low... high and low. It is really an awesome feeling that comes with a feeling of regret. So finally, this week I finally can snap my brain out of it for a while to think clearly for a bit...

So what did I realize after I got some sense of clarity. Everything I got during my high wasn't a lie but it also wasn't forever. The feeling I got was given to me by someone who has got the same feeling that was given to someone else. That person was unaware of what said person did to me but I don't blame that individual. It wasn't that persons fault. It was my fault for getting that chemical suck in my brain. So what now? Nothing much... I am still ok but my brain needs to be rewired again... I don't know how but baby steps. This blog helps me a lot... This is my sanctum to just release my inner thoughts... I hope I do get better but seriously... if you guys ever had dopamine in your system. It is an awesome feeling.

Angel has Fallen

The final trilogy of movie we didn't need



What is it about?
Mike Banning needs to save the president from being assassinated again. This time he is alone

The good
The action sequence was good enough
Gerald Butler looks the part
Nick Nolte looks awesome for his age

The Bad 
The story its a typical 90s action movie set in the 21st century. I didn't say it's bad but its very predictable.
Gerald Butler looks to old for the part

The Ugly 
Like really... that guy has save the president more than once and now he is the traitor? I find that hard to believe

After credit: Surprisingly yes...

Verdict: It is a good popcorn movie

Sigh...

Well I’ve taken a stand against my own happiness. I mean it’s been 6 weeks and it seems to be going great for me. But outside factors always make it hard for myself to be happy... whether it be love ones , family or friends... people have a way of ripping your happiness away 😔... what’s a guy supposed to do? Nothing... absolutely nothing.. most of these outside factors are so beyond my control... I can even control the weather... I do feel that I’m so alone and the world is going to swallow me whole. All I can do is just don’t worry to much about it..I am thankful though... I have no one in my life that makes me happy... but I do have this blog... some friends and above all I have myself... I can’t be sad because the person who will care about me is just me...so cheer up dude... we will get though this and we will be better... Man... being 35 sucks 🤣🤣

I’m 35 years old

Well, god willing I made it another year for my birthday. So far this I can say have been the best birthday by far. Before I slept my friend from the states wish me happy birthday... after that the messages from abroad keeps coming in... I do notice that I have many friends on Facebook but no one cares enough for my birthday... oh well. It’s not a big deal for me, the important thing is the people that you care about wishes you... Woke up at 5am as usual and got a video call from my best friend.... and then it’s off to start my day. My initial wish on my birthday is to just be alone and not be disturbed. But it turns out my best friend whom I seen like twice a year (even though he loves like 10 minutes) wants to come and hang out... and I called my other friend with her fiancé to come as well. So that means that I need to start cooking for them... So yesterday’s menu was salmon belly, salad with crispy salmon skin, chicken curry for the kids and fried quinoa

So AA (childhood friend) came at 1030am with his kids. His wife was doing something else which was cool (didn’t think that his wife would like to hang with us that much. Much later B (university friend) came down... we talked for hours during that time while having lunch. B couldn’t stay since he has prior commitments but he did gave me a cool street fighter T-shirt. After we cleaned up the kitchen me and AA decided to play some games... I totally let him win the first round only to beat him up most of subsequent rounds. While we played the girls are baking cookies for us to try our later (It was chocolate chip, my favorite). It was around 730 we decided to stop play and I made some dinner for the kids. After letting them rest for a while they all wanted to sleepover in each of the girls room. Tucked them goodnight and AA said “let’s play some cards”. The problems is we don’t have cards so we need to go out and find some. AA got a manual car... I haven’t driven one in like 17 years and I said “can I try driving it?” He said sure... it turns out I still remember how to drive a manual transmission (even if it’s a bit janky). Got the cards and went back. By the time is was already 1030pm. So we played gin rummy which is super awesome... me, my wife and AQ all got a chance to win a some and lose some... we played close till 1am. And then after that is sleeping time

The next morning I woke up and made breakfast for the kids... we didn’t talk that much in the morning cause my friend was busy taking care of the kids. He left at 1130 and with that my birthday is over

So as I conclude that, I wanted some me time but in the end I got some we time. Which I so don’t mind since having it with friends that care about you is super awesome... here hoping for another awesome year

My wife grandma passed away

Have you ever been to a funeral? I think this year I’ve been to my share of funerals... this time it’s my wife’s grandma or my father in laws mom. Things weren’t the same after her youngest son past away (my wife’s uncle). She basically stop eating and drinking. Slowly her body began to lose and weight and become frail... my dad (the eldest) tried his best to persuade her to eat but in the end she past away peacefully this morning around 4am... it took us close to 4 hours of driving but finally  got made just in time for the body to be buried... the mood was not somber but more in a sense everyone was at peace. Grandma lived to a good age of 88.. so I think everyone was ok with her passing... when the put the body in the 6feet hole and started to cover it up with dirt. I began to wonder about myself and the people that I love... will they be there when it’s my turn to go... it really does put things into perspective. But for now... try your best to make what little life that you are given...

Went back home

Yesterday I went home with my oldest child. She wants to have a break from her younger sister. So she wants to spend time with grandma. Going back home seems so... depressing. Seeing my mom and my brother is fun for a while but other than that everything seems so melancholy. The house feels so cluttered... my room is now a place where to put all their things and there is nothing to do there. Maybe because everyone is busy with their lives things are not what it used to be. But one thing doesn’t change... mom’s cooking is still the best. My flight home was this morning and I didn’t have time to rest yet.. oh well... life obligations get in the way

My best friend...

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged about my friend. What better way to blog about him then on his birthday month. Happy birthday bro... let me say something about you. We’ve met on 2002 when I started my university education. I still remember it like it was yesterday I arrived early and there was still no one there and then he came about. He was 6ft 2 and it’s big built with curly hair and a moustache. We said hi and the rest was history... we instantly became the best of friends...

Now the highlights of my friend which it’s 16 years and still going strong

- During the uni days he is a forgetful fellas. Keeps on getting lock out of his apartment. Which I had to bail him out
- Everytime during exams he won’t sleep until after the exam is done (kids don’t do this, you need a good 8 hours sleep in order to retain information)
- Until now loves eating everything on the plate separately. It was weird at first but now I’ve gotten use to it. I kinda of get it, save the best food for last.
- His late father will call him everyday at 10pm sharp (or as we call his prison warden). So you can imagine he needs to step off of events (movies, eating) and go to a quiet place to answer the call. One time he was with me at a friends house and he forgot to pick up the phone. Ended up with 149 missed called. To make it worse, in the news on that day there was a story of a person from our university committed suicide (😳 so you can put two and two together). It was epically hilarious and scary to see his face and his dad screaming on the phone
- Stayed 9 years extra in the university (The minimum is 5). I left early (more on that late) so he technically was lost without me pushing him to study. I am apparently the glue that holds everything.
- Used to work in Radio
- I love scaring my kids on him because he is big
- Easily to be pranked... and the pranks were epic (more on that later)
- The day his dad died was his saddest day in my book. He told me that he don’t want to die alone. Which ironically changed after 6 months. He said he doesn’t want to get married 🤣
- Works in IT now
- Met an awesome girl who strangely enough agreed to become his fiancé And they are getting married this November
- Choose me to be his best man even though he does have a lot of other friends... I’m so honoured

So yeah... he is my best friend for life. I’ll drop everything if he needs help right now. So kids... remember if you have a friend like this... don’t stop making it work. Don’t ever takes things for granted since being someone friend is a privilege not a right... if you don’t work on it... it will fade away... why do I say that... next friend report is going to be about the person

Mortal Kombat 11

Now this is how you do a fighting game

Game no: 329
Genre: Fighting
Platform: Nintendo Switch (All the major consoles)
Release Date: 2019






What is it about?
This games looks at trying to reset the Mortal Kombat universe by merging the past and the present

What I liked?
- Netherealms Studios are seriously the masters of fighting game story mode. The way they design the story makes you wanting to invest more on each of the characters. All the 12 chapters went by like clockwork
- Mortal Kombat is not a fast paced game but each punch and kick that you land really feels good
- The rage mode provides a certain strategy in when to use it. Since you only can use it once per match
- Some characters are fun to use

What I didn’t liked? 
- Story mode you are force to play certain characters where they don’t control well. You’ll end up spamming buttons

Verdict: Finish the story mode and that’s about it.

Fun Factor: Fighting games are fun but if you have a buddy... if not you’ll just play single player stuff. The story mode is top notch

Pokken Tournament dx

Finally an actual pokemòn game where you can actually beat someone physically

Genre: Fighting
Platform: Nintendo Switch
Release Date: 2015






What is it about?
It’s basically the part where Pokemon fight each other to see who is the very best

What I liked?
- The fighting is fast paced
- The assisted pokemon provide a certain type of strategy before going to a battle
- Each Pokemon has super ability mode

What I didn't liked?
- The game gets repetitive and boring after a while
- There are 4 leagues and you need to fight at least 15 times before going to the tournament and then you have another 3 matches before going to the next league
- Battles are the same over and over again

Status: Got until League C and then I got bored

Verdict: Fighting games are best played with another and the story mode just doesn't cut it

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw

The Furious franchise is starting it’s own extended universe



What is it about?
An M16 agent is on the run with a deadly virus and it’s up to Hobbs and Shaw to stop the virus into falling to the wrong hands.

The good
The story is very entertaining
It has a mixed of Fast elements and as well as Furious parts
The Rock and Statham has good chemistry together
The surprise cameos
Action scene are super awesome

The Bad
The bad guy is unforgettable
The story is 30 minutes too long... there are some parts that just drag on and on
I kind of get F&F defines the laws of physics and reality but some of this I call out as “😳😳” moment... that’s so no real... even it’s made up

The Ugly 
The main bad guy was not reveal.. probably the sequel I guess

After credits: Yes... 3 scenes

Verdict: A great movie to watch and left your brain at home

Congratulations to my sister in law

Today is a auspicious day. My sister I law finally graduated her postgraduate studies... All her hard work of years and it only took her 35 seconds to get her scroll.. The sucky part of this is we have to wait for the whole event to be finished 🤣🤣... my butt is killing me. This graduation is so stiff and boring... I remember when I was in New Zealand. We could cheer and laugh when someone we know goes on stage. Over here you can’t even do a selfie 😅. Oh well

Events that happened in July...

Another 30 days... well 31 days to be exact. Another month has past. Let’s see what happens during this month. We always start the month with our cheat day. This month was special because we got our  Aunts to cook for us... the food was amazing 🤤. My best friend finally tied the knot with her long standing girlfriend. I always say that she was bad for him but if it happens you just need to be supportive for the people you care about. So I am happy for him. I will still be there to pick up the pieces if anything happens. My daughter finally finished her commission that was ordered like to months ago 😅. Better late than never in my book. Our kittens are getting chubbier but we still keep them in the cage since they can still escape 🤣... they need to be more chubbier. We spend a weekend off with the kids doing stuff they love and eating food they love which is fun.  My daughter tried a new art teacher but it’s like 1 hour+ away so I don’t think I’ll be doing that weekly. My best friend went on vacation and we had fun just chatting with each other. Things happen to her that I am glad in a sense and we are in a better place. It’s good that we both are there for each other for the hard times. Watch a couple of great movies this year. Best of the month I am going to say Spider-Man. The last marvel movie for 11 months until next year 😅. My daughter bought an IPad Pro with her own money (which is no small feat since the unit cost $1250). My wife’s best friend from New Zealand came down and we spend a lot of time with her. I bought myself a 10TB hdd for my pc... my kids bought me an early birthday gift which was a 400gb micro SD card for my Switch. Which was awesome. Spend another weekday with just me and the kids. It was nice... kids do tend to fight a lot 😅).  One of my friends from Texas just came back from Japan so that was cool seeing the pictures from the trip. I did extend my hand for him to come to Malaysia. I went to a cult (which you can read at my previous post) and survive which is awesome. Went to Ikea to buy some frames that were on sale. Talk to my another friend on weird hours about why people buy expensive clothes... that was enlightening. My wife brought her students to watch the Lion King and I feel asleep because I was knackered 🤣🤣... The end of the week was eventful. We back to my hometown with my mom to catch up on my aunts and uncles... we so love driving during a working day so we are planning to do this for next Eid. A lot of my uncles and aunts  are quite old and frail... they leave alone without anyone helping them. I so hope I can be healthy that I don’t need to depend on my kids when I am that old. Ate a lot of local fruit (it’s the season of all types of tropical fruit). That night we celebrate my daughter’s birthday by my wife baking a cake (I am so sleepy right now... didn’t sleep properly so I am typing with my eyes closed 🤣🤣) . The cake that was baked was an Oreo cheesecake. The next morning we went to the mall for her ice skating time with her friend. We went to my wife’s friends wedding... which was ok... Finally we end the month with me, my wife and my mom went for a wedding which was a couple states away. I was giddy as a kid due to the fact that the kids are not following. I wear a black suit and the wedding was awesome. We gave one of our daughters painting as a gift. I fell down the stage when we wanted to take a picture with the bride and groom... and that’s how I end the month of July... bring on August 🥰

I think perception is always key

Well it’s 3am and it’s August... woot... 24 days till my birthday. So... I think my perception of people really needs to change. That’s why I think I need to be quiet most of the time and just scan the room. Sometimes I think I come out as too strong and it will just irked people around me. So the lesson I learn today is not everyone is ok with things that you think is ok for you... being an extrovert sucks... I’ll just keep my trap quiet for a while. I’m not sad which is good... this post is just a reminder that I am like stinky cheese... it smell terrible but once you get over the rotten smell... you get to taste the delicious cheese... yummy. I’m so behind on my blogpost is not funny