Week 33: I almost lost myself.

What a week this has been. I met the girl of my dreams only to be crush in sprits. We worked it out by the way but I think these things take time.  What I do know is that starting next week I am going to just let Allah decide. I don't want to oerthink and stress myself out that much. That is not a great thing to do 

Aug 9

• Today after class I took a short nap and then got ready to go a H2 teachers son's wedding 

• The wedding was a H2 school so it was nearby. This is a buffet style wedding so we go in and eat and leave

• H1 boyfriend came and after that we all went to KLCC because wife wants to go to the bookstore and H2 friends bailed on her. So she wants to go to the aquarium 

• We split up and after a lunch, wife and H2 went to the aquarium. H1 went out with her boyfriend and I went to get my steps 

• Nd text me wanting 1.5k since she already book the hotel in Scotland. She became very angry when I ask for the ticket infor. I try to calm her down but I don't know if that works. Radio silence since 7pm

• Send H1 boyfriend home and we arrive home close to 8pm. Made egg sandwich for wife. Took a shower and wen to be by 10pm

Aug 10

• Morning classes and then walking as usual. My steps have gone close to 10000 so it a long walk 

• Today for lunch I went to the mall and made an appointment to get my car serviced for tomorrow and bought some stuff to make ayam masak kicap 

• After cooking, took a short nap. Did some classes and in the end played 20 minutes of games

• Wife is supposed to go to the hospital this whole week for ther back but she decided to stay and rest and not move that much (hopefully) 

• Nd is avoiding me somehow. I ask if I can meet up at the airport to say goodbye and she said she is busy. I am not buying it so I am going there just to see her. I won't talk to her. I won't say anything.I will just stay afar and watch for a while until she boards. 

Aug 11 (unmemorable)

• I finally did it. I drove Nd over the edge and now she doesn't wan tto talk to me and hates me. She was so angry that she hit her car. I cried a lot yesterday. I didn't know what to do. The only thing I can do is talk to Allah about it. In a way Allah told me it is going to be okay so I think I after a day of greiving today. I am going to let her go. She deserve better. I won't stop praying for her to come back. 

• Classes, cook some fried rice and pasta 

• Send my car for its 100000km service. It turns out to be a bigger service that before. Tomorrow I need to change my tyres as well 

• Due to crying a lot I was so out of it. I felt chest pains, hurt my head, and just sleepy all together. So for the first time I slept at 9:30pm

• Wife is still out of it. Her back is just becoming worse. I really don't know what to do with her. Just try to make her as comfortable as possible. 

Aug 12 (unmemorable)

• This morning did classes and made some sloppy joes for lunch with fries. I think I overdid it with the fries. 

• Today I am planning to go to the airport to see Nd. I came there at 2pm. Ordered a drink and just waited there until 4. And there I saw Nd with another guy. My heart sank. She was very friendly with that person. I took some pictures and left the scene with a sad message. Came back home I got a call from Nd she was trying to explain the situation. She told me there is nothing to worry about and that person is just a friend. Nothing much about it. Honestly... I don't know what to believe anymore and I think being apart it is a good time for us to reflect on our lives

• I think I need to let her go.I do love her but I think I am becoming obssess with someone I can't have. This is not good for my mental health and I need to let her go as how I let go of Nfs. In order to do that I think I will just talk to Allah more about this and hope lets me free from this grip 

• Came home and talk to mom. Cried a bit with her about my money situation

• Wife needed to go to the clinic to check her hemorroids. It is getting worse. I don't know 

Aug 13

• Today is just another normal day of classes 

• After that I have to bring wife to the hospital for he physioteraphy 

• Went back home and pick up H2. We then went to themall to have some lunch. I had some ayam gepuk 

• Head to mom in law house because wife bought a lot of stuff for her. Also because of her bad hemorroids she is soaking herself with salt in MIL tub. 

• Came back and took a short nap before contiuning with classes 

• Finish the day by cleaning the house and going to bed

• Nd arrived safely at Edinburgh. She will be staying at a hostel without any internet. So I won't hear from her anytime soon. I will miss her

Aug 14

• Today is going to be a tiring day. Started with classes in the morning 

• After that I need to go to the hospital to get wife's MC only to discovered that the clinci was closed so I rushed to the pharmacy to get iwife medication. By the time I went back it is going to be 1230pm so I decided to have lunch at the university and go and pray myself 

• Had a call from Arf saying that he wants to treat me to a birthday lunch (or dinner) and see if we can schedule something for next week

• Came home did a class and then pick up cleaner

• Did more classes and after that brough some bread and snack for the girls 

• Wife was being extra annoying today by shouting everytime I was doing something else. It was so annoying that I told her off 

• Send the cleaner back home only to discover wife was crying due to my words. Took me 30 minutes to calm her down. Then went to bed with a small migrane 

Aug 15

• Did a lot of classes in the morning and send H2 to the mall because she has a date with her friend 

• I ate some hot bird for myself while wife when waking up just ordered some food for her

• Continuing doing classes and in the evening went out of some mamak food with H2

• Nothing much happened today. Got to spend a good 10 minutes talking to Nd which is nice. That is probably the longest time I got to spend with her. 

Next week wife will be back at work. I will try to get more classes in. I think I want to try to finish Replaced next week. Arf is asking me to go on a birthday lunch date of my choosing and that is already pressure in itself.

Week 32: A good week with a littl e bit of hiccups

This week is done and dusted. I am feeling a bit sad but hopeful. I Think a lot of istigfar has taken a toll on me that I will just led Allah help me and I will do my best to push my luck forward. Ameen 

Aug 2

• After class we got ready to go out to have some lunch

• H1 is not here since she went to watch Spider-Man with her friends 

• We went to eat at our burger joint and wife ordered fried chicken. The fried chicken tasted horrible. Probaby one of the worse fried chicken I ate 

• Wife lost a handmade charm and we can't find where is it 

• Went to do grocery shopping and hang out at mom in law house for a while

• Came back home around 6pm. I did some more steps. Doing steps is getting harder since I need to do more steps 

• Wife started taking a weight loss drink but after one drink she felt horrible and wanetd to sell off the drink. It also doesn't help that she shot her back and now everything hurts. 

• Went to bed close to 11pm.

Aug 3 

• In the morning as usual did some classes. 

• Wife decided to take leave today as her back is killing her 

• Made some masak lemak for the family by going grocery shopping

• Nd text me and said that she decided to get married because she really needs themoney and pay me off. I cried. I know giving the money is the only to keep her around. So I decided to give it to her anyway. I took out 20k for her. I am leaving it to Allah to help me pay it back off 

• In the evening I did my steps. It is getting harder and harder since its already close to 9000 steps 

• Took a nap before making more lessons and going to be close to 11.

Aug 4 🎂

• Today is my mom birthday. She is 72. She has a conference right now so everyone celebrated her birthday at the conference 

• It was a good day for me. Classes. Wife decided to work from home so I get to exercise a bit while waiting for my groceries to come 

• Made some beef strips gyodon bowls with tofu and egg. The kids love it but I didn't eat it. I instead ate the ayam gepuk near my house 

• Pick up cleaners and continue to do some more classes. My step count has reach 9000 so its getting longer and longer. 

• Nd needed to go to Edinburgh Scotland to handle some inheritance issue. She use my credit card to buy the tickets which is 5k. I manage to secure a 4.8% monthly interested. She will pay it in 6 months. 

Aug 5
• It was an easy day today. Did classes. Did my steps. The water filter person came

• Send wife to work and had lunch at the university 

• Went with H2 to get my eyes checked. My eyes were okay. My shortsightedness is becoming more clearer but I don't need glasses anytime soon 

• Pick up wife from her office and then we all had movie time with the family. We watch Avatar Aang: The Last Airbender (5/5)

• Did some classes in the evening and then went to bed at 11. 

Aug 6

• Today after classes and steps I send wife to the hospital 

• The doctor told that wife needs to be warded to get her physio in. But wife doesn't want to so we schedule on a Monday 

• Ate some nasi lemak and soup at q bistro 

• Went to the mall and bought H2 a puzzle since we are not going on holiday 

• Came back home we gave the puzzle to H2. H1   has her best friend over. I did some classes and at night they ordered pizza

• Wife got pyjamas but she can't fit it so I am wearning it now. It is very comfortable. 

Aug 7

• Usual routine of classes and exercise 

• Today I didn't cook so I bought food from the nearby shop. There were fresh crabs so I got that for wife. Also got some cendol for dessert

• Went to friday prayers. Took a nap back 

• Pick up cleaner and continue classes

• In the evening our famous influencer did a contest where people who buy his products get to go to Italy. I try my luck maybe I got it but I didn't. I did however got the product. Probably going to give some to my friends

• Forza, send cleaner back ome and slept close to 1215am

• Nd was very busy today. I didn't get the chance to talk to her that much. After that she told me she had an emergency and then radio silent. I can't help it but thinking this is the end. I think we have an expiry date and I will have to let it go. I pray to Allah that I get to marry her. But it is getting harder and harder by the day. Please Allah... give me strength

Aug 8

• Today is going to be a long day of classes. After that I did an hour of walking. 

• Ordered some mee kolo and fried rice for lunch. Wife and H2 wanted mcdonalds instead. H1 just stayed in the room until th eend 

• Had class in the evening. Thaught a 16 year old and got a 1 STAR review. Got a long email about that lesson but its a coaching rather than a reprimand. So that is okay. Remember to take a nap next time after a meal

• Took a short nap after class and then we had to get ready for the wedding 

• We had to dress in black for the wedding and the wedding is located beside my mom in law house

• We went to the wedding is was grand. It was a rich person wedding. In the entrance everyone got pokemon cards and the girls were so excited. I gave my cards away to them 

• Inside we have cards with our names and it was a sitting wedding which means we are not allowed to leave until the proceedings are done. It was quite a while before we got to eat. The food was amazing. They started us of with Soto Ayam which H1 didn't finish and gave it to me. After that it was rice with 6 types of lauk. Ayam masak merah, rendang daging, sayur lemak, udang (that is an expensive wedding when there is seafood), fish. It ended with a dessert that was fried banana porriage and palm sugar sago. We stayed longer because we were having fun talking to the guest. H2 was enjoying seeing her friend (which has changed a lot). We ended the wedding with fireworks

• Came home and took another shower and went to bed

• Nd was busy taking care of her aunt who is not feeling well. So this week didn't talk to her that much 

Next week I will want to go to the airport to see Nd. I will ask her if I can send her to the airport and then if she says no I will come and see her off. Wife is going to rest for 3 days due to her back. Other than that I have nothing much plan

Karate Kid Legends

This would work better as a TV show

What is it about?
A kid travels from China to New York to start a new life. Gets into a Martial Arts Tournament 

The Good
Jackie Chan and Ralph Macchio are the heart of the movie 
The action scene are good 

The Bad
This should be a mini series rather than a movie. Nothing happen until 40 minutes in 
Jackie and Ralph join the movie 30 minutes till the end. Basically what you saw in the trailer thats their whole scene. 

The Ugly
Nothing much 

After Credits: No but there is a cameo at the end

Verdict: Can be avoided if you don't like the series. 

Alien Earth

 Finally we get to see some Aliens 

What is it about? A exploration ship carring the alien xenomorphs crash landed to earth. They are brought to an island where people want to capture it 

Aliens: There are a lot of different types of Alient species. Plus the Xenomorph can be clearly seen in this show will all the bloody action 

Synthetics: The main heroes of the movie. The sysnthetics basically are enhance machines with human brains. The problem is they are kids so they lack the understanding of certain things 

Ending: The show is a bit long winding and dragging. But season 2 is confirmed and there was a big cliffhanger at the end

Spider-Man Brand New Day

The most comic accurate Spider-Man movies

What is it about?

It has been 4 years since everyone forgot about who is Peter Parker and he lives alone being Spider-Man most of the time.

The Good
The most comic accurate movie made. 

This movie is more 70% Spider-Man than Peter Parker

Lots of Marvel cameos. The Hulk, Black Widow and Punisher which is the breakout star of the show 

Sadie Sink is awesome in the movie 

The Bad
Nothing much. It was perfect 

The after credits were an afterthought 
The ending is also left up in the air

The Ugly

Nothing Much

After Credits: Yes, but can be skipped 

Verdict: One of the best Spider-Man movies. A must watch 

Psych Season 3

This show is a feel good show

This season: Every episode there seem to be a focus of a specific theme. Treasure hunting, daredevils, ghost. Its kind a fun that they don't make the same episode twice 

Serious episode: The finale is where Shawn has to find a serial killer and there is an episode where Lassiter was accused of murder. Those were good ones. 

Opening: There is the long intro, a christmas intro and a horror intro where they just show the title with broken glass. 

Ending: Juliet confess that he likes Shawn only the timing is very bad 

Week 31: H1 is 19 already

This week has been a great week. Nothing to extreme happen. Got to watch a movie and just get to do more classes. I hope I am in track to do a lot of classes by the time my month is over but we will see how it goes. 

Jul 26

• Today was a perfect day for me. It rarely happens but that is when everything falls into place

• Got to do 20 classes today. Which is a new record 

• Send H1 and her boyfriend to the train station so they can go eat brazillian bbq and celebrate her birthday 

• Cooked some ayam kicap 

• Did exercises

• Slept early

• Finally Nd says hello. So overall this has been perfect day. Alhamdulillah

• On other note I am experince something that I can't explain. This is what happens when you let everything go and trust Allah about his plan. I don't feel angry, sad, annoyed, lust, jealousy.. alhamdulilah nothing. I just feel a certain peace. I thought I never get this feeling but this feeling is beautiful 

Jul 27 H1 🎂

• Send wife to work and went and bought stuff to make some curry chicken 

• Did classes and when I have no classes did some exercises

• Today is H1 birthday. She is 19. I wish her all the best and be a great person. She decided to make some cheesecake but we only can eat it tomorrow 

• Pickup wife and continue classes. 

• Did some Forza before going to sleep 

Jul 28

• Today after classes and send wife to work. Did a walk at the mall before buying ingredients for "Marry Me Pasta"

• The pasta was delicious so I decided to give to Nd at her office. I didn't get a review back from here

• Did more walking, did some classes. Took a nap when I didn't have classes

• Pick up cleaner and wife and then ordered ayam gepuk for her

• H1 ask us to try her cheesecake. Delicious as always 

• Cleaner want to go home a bit early so it was good

• Nf is having a crisis. She is in love with a person who doesn't know that. The delusions is just too much for me. I am getting a bit annoyed 

Jul 29 

• Today after classes had to bring H1 to the dentist to get a new retainer. The dentist explained that there is a new way for the teeth which is a wire. H1 is thinking about it

• Went to groceries. Didn't cook any lunch so ordered the kids some chicken rice and I am still full from breakfast. At night I made some baked potatoes with roasted chicken and sausages. 

• Pick up wife and just continue classes. Alhamdulilah a very quiet day today

Jul 30

• The same like yesterday but the only difference is this time I went to the mall to get some toiletteries for the girls and went shopping there. Got 6000 steps in the morning which good

• Made some ayam cili hijau and ayam kicap. Those two goes well together 

• Pick up wife from work a bit earlier and did more classes in the evening

• By 11 30 went to bed. A bit sad that wife doesn't want to touch me. But I think going forward this is my future. Just be patient for something better 

Jul 31

• After classes had to send wife to work. The only difference is this time H2 woke up. So she followed and we both went to have some breakfast at Q bistro

• H1 had her finals and then she needs to drop the car to wife. I pick her up and then brought her to buy lunch at Q bistro

• My best friend Arf ask me to come and pray our usual spot. I was not hungry so I just had a drink with him while talking about life. Love hanging out with him

• Did classes in the evening until 730. Had leftovers for dinner

• Forza Friday which is great 

• Went to sleep close to 1040

• Nd didn't text me the whole day. Eventually she text close to after midnight

With that July is done. This has been a very stressful month but also a great month as well. With Nd going to leave me just to pay me back which is sweet and me being really close to Allah and trusting His plan knowing that He will help me pay everything in the future. I think this month has teach me Allah is the best planners. 

Aug 1

• Morning classes as usual and then went to pick up cleaner at 1pm. 

• H1 got her final exam this semester and she came with her boyfriend. She needs to help to install H2 cabinet. She did it in half the time that I would have done it

• They ordered grab while me and wife ate something light 

• We went to the mall to watch Spider-Man Brand New Day (5/5). Wife bought her student since H1 wants to go see the movie tomorrow with her friends

• After the movie we went to eat some dim sum at Din Tai Fung. It was great and very hot

• Came back home did some more steps and then send the cleaner home close to 1130pm

• Nd went for team building. I am beginning to get less and less messages of her. But its okay. As long she is happy I am happy

This week I have a dentist appointment for H2. Mom birthday is coming soon and probably a couple of weddings on the weekend. Other than that it is just another normal week for me